Thank you for having 4 minutes to explore life – useful lessons. Read and breathe slowly.
Saying “No” is a very challenging subject when it comes to grown-ups. Dealing with “no” can be very difficult, especially when you are not used to it. Changing that “bad habit” is more about resolving inner conflicts than external opinions. To understand it better, saying “no” is about respecting your own time. If you have goals to be the best version of yourself, to be more of YOU, then you cannot say YES to everyone who asks you to do something. It is because you will never be able to perform and do it all. What is good if you say “yes” and later be stressful, nervous, have angry family..? It is evident that we do more damage than good at those moments. Before you continue to be “people pleaser” consider reviewing some of your beliefs like:
Why I cannot say NO
Before you can start saying NO with integrity, you need to examine your limiting beliefs and decide what to do with them.
Are you feeling something like this when you say no?
People will judge me.
I will look like selfish.
I will upset my colleges.
I do not want to disappoint others.
I need to say yes because they help me too.
What will boss think of me if I tell him I cannot go to dinner?
If you have internal conversations like this, be aware that you create reality by your thoughts and emotions, and those are only assumptions and false perceptions. To start moving in other direction, ask yourself: “Why I am feeling like this?” Who am I afraid to disappoint? Will I really disappoint someone? Whom do I try to please in my past? “
It is sometimes so funny how can we mess ourselves with the lack of understanding the advice we got in early age like: “You need to be good”; “ Don’t be rude and say no..”.
However, that advice was not the only one. It was up to you to figure out how “too much” of something is not okay and to develop good behaviors by self-discovery, not only by blind following.
What is your LIFE?
People who have difficulty with saying no often know little about themselves. They have not even considered to stop and think about who they are, what they want from life etc.. If you decided to finish the career of “people pleaser,” then it is a good time to go on self-development journey and finally be impressed by yourself.
There are many questions you need to find the answers, and some coaching program would certainly help, but you can start right now by asking yourself:
What are my priorities?
What are my real values?
How I want others to see me?
How would it feel to live true potentials?
What does not serve me anymore?
What drains out my energy…?
Every your “yes” or “no” answer should resonate with your true values. If you allow yourself to practice self-development tools and allow your intuition to be your adviser, you will not have a problem with yes-no decisions. After all, every person deep inside knows what is right. Frustration, lack of energy, fear.. all of these emotions occur when you are not true to yourself.
Saying “no” in some situation does not mean you will refuse or hurt another person, it only means saying “no” to certain request or proposal.
Think carefully how would you feel about the person saying “no” at this way:
I believe you deserve excellent service and I respect you very much, so I must say no.
My dear, I will not go to dinner. You deserve to have my full attention, and now I feel exhausting.
Thank you, boss, for an invitation, I respect you and our work very much. I feel I cannot give you my best so I must say no.
Thanks so much for the invitation to the party. I appreciate so much, but I promised myself I would learn for exams. That is important to me. Please respect my decision.,
Thank you, boss, for asking me to stay extra hours, I know you are doing a great deal of sacrifice for this business. I cannot stay overtime because my kids need parent and I take all of my jobs seriously.
I think you get the point. It is easy to say no when you know what your values are, and when you actually respect yourself and others. At that point, there are no bad feelings on any side, because it is right to do. Those who will not understand rule: respect yourself- respect others, probably are not the ones you need to be around. They have their issue to solve from finding their values, to stop being energy drainers, destructive for themselves and others.
After all, you cannot control others, only yourself. Be committed to master yourself.
What can you do next?
1. Be AWARE of your decisions.
2. Read more about self-inventory.
3. JOIN the FREE virtual training for achieving success and results you desire.
4 SEE the message for you.
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Enjoy the day!
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