Thank you for having 4 minutes to explore life – useful lessons. Read and breathe slowly.
Becoming or being a parent is the most responsible role you get in life. It is a lifetime exam where you see you how well you did through the eyes of your children. Learning how to be a successful parent is a lifetime task.
There is no “easy” situation in a parenting role. Challenges are equal in a child or in a teenage time. Knowing how to communicate effectively can really help build better relationships, avoid past mistakes, and being comfortable with your parent role. So it is less stressful for everybody when you have appropriate skills, especially when you need to balance between long working hours, family obligations, and imbalanced hormones of your teenager.
NLP ( Neuro-Linguistic Programming) & Coaching techniques along with other self-development tools can be beneficial in achieving easier and empowering communication. Both those tools reveal how the mind works and how we individually process the information.
It is easy to get overwhelmed when your kids are screaming at each other, arguing about watching TV, bedtime or facebook restrictions. All parents have the best intentions for their children. Always! However, sometimes there is total confusion in communication.
Like the conversation between child and parent.
Parent: “Kate, can you please go and turn off the TV ?”
Child: “Later Mum.”
Parent: “Kate, can you please turn off the TV?”
Child: “Oh Mum, I am watching TV.”
Parent: “Kate, I just asked you to please turn off the TV.”
Child: “Mum, but I do not want to.”
Parent: “Kate, I want you to go and turn off the TV, NOW!!”
Child: “Mum, you are always shouting at me.”
In a minute you become frustrated and lose control and ask yourself: “Why doesn’t she listen to me? “
Well, answers are behind understanding language pattern and information processing. It is a complex and simple at the same time and very practical and useful knowledge for everyday situations.
Here are few tips that can help for having better communication :
Give exact orders, ask specific questions and be clear about responsibility
If you want your child to carry out a specific action like turning out TV, you need to give exact command with no confused elements. Like in this example, you end up yelling at the child, but first, you were polite. It is not the point of being polite or rude because the intention was to turn off the TV. So be specific.
Also, questions like why, what stops you, how you think, break the current ongoing pattern and bring the mind to the present state to look for the right answers.
Learning how to deal with responsibility is the best gift you can give to your child. Every one of us has the potential to develop and grow. However, it demands a little effort for understanding communication and coaching skills to get both sides satisfied.
Stop telling “don’t”
Explaining “dangerous” situations is always a challenge. As parents want to protect their child they will try with “usual” method of saying “don’t climb on that tree, don’t jump, don’t.– “ And kids always do the “verb-action” part. Because in early age child is mainly in subconscious mind mode which does not process negative statements. It is better to say: “Come down from the tree and do …”
Too much “Don’t’s’ will only create negative emotions and fear in adult age. Focus and give clear instructions what you want, not what you do not want. It is simple.
Use empowering words to build self-confidence and positive emotions
Everything you want to give, first you need to have. Your children learn best from examples. Start with telling them how great they are and show by your example how you became self-confident and resourceful. Developing positive habits in early age will bring an abundance of joy and beauty in child’s life.
What can you do next?
1. Be AWARE of your words.
2. Read more about life lessons from Dr. Maya Angelou.
3. See how you can encourage yourself, children, family or friends with “unusual gift.”
4 SEE the message FOR YOU.
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Enjoy the day!
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